International Women's Day - To The Women Who Inspire Me

There are many woman who have inspired me in the kitchen – but I wanted to write about four in particular. My grandmothers – Molly and Ruby, Mrs. Harrison – the old lady who lived down the lane when I was growing up and my friend Mary. Two were my grandmothers, the other two grandmother figures – but only one I have been lucky enough to know well into my adult life, and I feel so lucky to still have her as a friend.  

I was young when my grandmothers died – 12 and 13, old enough that I have memories of them, but not really from when they lived in their homes. My dad’s mum, Molly (which is what we called her), is said to have thrown the most epic dinner parties, and if I could go back in time and cook with one person, it would be her. I have a cookbook of hers, that is held together with masking tape, and one of these days when I thumb through it I will no doubt break the tape. It’s a Better Homes and Garden book, that is filled with newspaper and magazine clippings, handwritten recipes and notes in the margins. Molly was an elegant woman, and I imagine from the stories, her dinner parties weren’t just great because of the food, but also the atmosphere she set. My mum’s mum, who we called Grandma, was a basic cook – and I mean that with no negativity, she cooked good, humble food, my mum talks about her stew with dumplings and together we’ve recently mastered the perfect stew dumpling. Grandma’s name – Ruby, was the reason when I started this business, it was called The Ruby Apron – with her in mind and my love of aprons.

Mrs. Harrison, Marjorie, we called her Mrs. H, taught me to crochet, how to properly whisk and egg (and I think of her every time I whisk an egg!) – “you must use your wrist,” she didn’t bake with salt, so I didn’t for a long time, she taught me how to ring out a dish cloth – “like a woman, not a man.” Her house smelled stuffy and in the springtime like soil, her garden was chaos, she had the best apple tree, which produced in abundance and she would turn into the most delicious apple pie. I can still hear her dry hands on her polyester pants – and it still makes me cringe, we drank lots of tea together, she had a fat dog called KC who she walked around the block in her nightgown. Her hair was always set just so, and the one time I saw it down, I thought she was a witch. It’s funny, she died around the same time as my grandmothers, but she was well, so in a lot of ways I have more memories of her as a grandmother figure.

How lucky am I to have had so many women in my life that are grandmother figures. But the real star of this story is my friend Mary. I know Mary through her sister Pat, who was also like a grandmother to me – she didn’t really cook in the same way though – in saying that I have a few recipes with her name in front of them and she likely should be listed in this blog too. Although I say Mary is a pseudo grandma, she is ultimately my friend – she’s been part of my life longer than my grandmothers or Mrs. H and knowing her as an adult and having the relationship we do is one of my most favourite things. I think a lot of my memories with my Molly, Grandma and Mrs. H are memories but lots too are stories that have been told to me, or through old photos. 

 I often think about Mary – and what she would have been like at my age, or what she would have been like in 1987, the year I was born, she was 60. Mary lives in Hove, East Sussex in England. Since I was 18 my mum and I have travelled to the UK most years – sometimes twice, to see her. She’s come to Canada a few times over the years too, but not for quite some time. She’s 97 and (a bit more) than half – she’s smart, funny, kind, she taught me to knit, her home is one of my favourite places to be, her kitchen perhaps my favourite place to cook. She would probably cringe at me saying she inspires me in so many ways – she doesn’t do mornings, she’s a bit of a night owl, she loves routine, even though she says she doesn’t like routine, she walks on the sea front most days, she’s current, and the best bit – she still cooks and bakes daily. I think of Mary’s life and all that she’s seen and experienced especially when it comes to the changes in our food system. I love that I can call her and she’ll answer random questions for me, we talk about our days, she tells me what she’s having for supper and what she’s eaten that day. Today during class, I called her for a recipe that I knew she’d have, she was playing Bridge and said she couldn’t, about 2 minutes later my phone vibrated and she’d sent a picture of the recipe I needed.

Several weeks ago I sent her a list of questions to answer for me in a voice memo – all about food, which inspired this blog.  You can listen to Mary's answers here. 

So, on International Women’s Day – I celebrate not only these four women that taught, inspired and have been there for me, but all of the women that have done the same. From my mum, sister-in-law and niece to my friends new and old, and to my teachers and mentors throughout the years. But, there’s someone else I celebrate today too, myself. The little girl I was who loved to bake. The teenager who loved to make a mess in the kitchen. The university student who didn’t quite know what was next. The culinary student who was following passion. The woman who, eleven years ago this month had an idea stirring in her head (while still at culinary school) to start teaching cooking classes with no idea how it would all play out. The woman I was when I expanded during a global pandemic and the woman I am today, the soundest stage of my life both in the kitchen and outside the kitchen. And, of course, to all the women who are yet to come into my life and inspire me, and to the future versions of myself too. Wouldn't it be fun if we could go back in time and tell a different version of ourselves advice from the current version of ourselves? 

Below is one of my favourite photos - I am not generally hard on myself, but I don't like my side profile. Mary doesn't let me in the kitchen to cook with her, here we are finishing dinner together in 2024.